Our Love Lost
by hpottergurl
Summary: He had made several mistakes in his life, but he was sure that falling in love was not one of them. As time passes and Draco believes that he and Hermione are growing closer, he finds that she will never really be over her first love.


**Chapter 1: New Divide**

The landscape outside was spectacular as always, so much different than the fake countryside that had been created around the manor he had spent his entire childhood feeling like a prisoner in. The five point seven acres of land and large plantation style manor that made up the estate could never begin to compare to the sight that flew by the large open windows of the train as it rode full steam ahead down the track towards its destination. Here the hills were perfectly formed by nature, not created by man to help keep unwanted visitors out. The animals that roamed the earth or soared through the sky were there because it was their home, not because they were forced to stay around because they were bound by some enchantment. This scene was what the country should really be like, a force of nature, not some sadistic wizard who claimed to have it designed that way because it was what his wife enjoyed.

But the blonde haired boy, who's hair was so light it could be compared to looking directly at the sun at the peak hour of twelve, sitting alone in first compartment on the train barely noticed it. Every time he even glanced at the window, he would see that prison instead of the countryside he had admired for years now. He was still finding it hard to believe that it had only been three months since he escaped that hell, only to live in another kind of hell. He had spent so much time living in hells that he wasn't sure he could tell the difference anymore.

He remembered two days very well, moments of his life that were not just burned into his memory, but seared there. He was absolutely positive that he would never forget either, not even if he were to undergo years of therapy after this was all over. There was no way a person could forget the anger and the hate that was directed at him, the mistrust from both sides. He kept thinking that the fierce anger from the side he had abandoned would be tolerable if the side he was now fighting for could look at him in the new light he was trying to live in. He had abandoned a powerful man, an angry, power crazed man that would surely seek revenge on him. But instead of seeing the target that was now on his head, one that matched the ones on their own, they saw him as someone trying to infiltrate their ranks.

It was Dumbledore who sided with him, to much ridicule. It was Dumbledore, a man he had spent so many years belittling, who had stood beside him at the meetings, convincing the members that he was now one of them, that he was now as great a target for the dark side as any of them. Dumbledore showed trust in him when no one else would, and he felt so ashamed for his actions. And eventually, Dumbledore made everyone accept him as a member to their elite society formed to fight against the evil that was threatening to take over their world, along with the one that co-existed with their own in a delicate balance. But that didn't mean they trusted him any. They rarely shared information with him if they could avoid it. He was rarely allowed to leave the headquarters, and everywhere he went someone was watching him, as if the expected him to make a run for it.

But he sucked it all up and tolerated it. He knew these were the only people who could provide him with any kind of protection now. So he said nothing as they kept a close watch on him, sharing very little. He scraped by with what he was given, socialized as often as needed and never any more. He slinked away to the shadowy corners when he knew he wasn't wanted, and waited to be called forth again. He became kind of like the living dead, alive and breathing, but completely apathetic. Until one night when some of that changed.

The sound of the compartment door opening drew him out of his deep reverie. He looked up, meeting the eye of one of the other person that had started to show him a little trust. He nodded slightly, letting his gaze drop from hers to the floor as she slid the compartment door closed and took a sit across from him. She didn't talk to him, just took her book out of her bag and started reading the page where she left off. He glanced at what she was reading, and held back a snicker. Typical she would be reading a book that had been required of them back in their first year. From the looks of the binding, this was not the first time she had read it either, but more like the hundredth. He marveled at that. How did she not grow bored with reading the same material over and over again?

But just as he was about to ask her, the compartment door slid open again, and Professor McGonagall walked in, her usual air about her. He did his best to turn his attention to her, catching sight of his companion putting her book away out of the corner of his eye. He listened, trying to keep his focus as McGonagall cleared her voice and began speaking.

"As you both know, you have been chosen for the honor of Head Boy and Head Girl. But this is the first year we have asked so much of our Heads. Out of safety for the students of Hogwarts, we are giving you powers that have not been granted to a Head Boy and a Head Girl ever before. Along with the usual duties you followed as prefects, you are asked to patrol outside the castle, down by the lake and near the Forbidden Forest. When you do this, you are asked to do this together and to bring two prefects with you, alternating between each prefect. Shall you find any students out of bounds, you know have the power to deduct points and issue detentions as you see fit. This will hopefully encourage students from trying to creep put during these trialing times. As for the benefits that come along with being a Head, they still apply, but we strongly advise you not exercise the right to visit Hogsmeade whenever you feel the need to. We think it would be more sensible for everyone to wait until the designated Hogsmeade weekends. Now, here is a map leading to where your private dormitory will be. We ask that you agree upon a password before arrival so that when you arrive at your dorms you can take care of your things that need to be done and get started on your duties as soon as possible."

McGonagall took out a piece of parchment, the map to their dorm, and held it out to them. His hand instantly reached out for it as did hers, and theirs hands collided as each grasped for the paper. Quickly redrawing his hand and watching as the parchment fluttered to the floor as her actions mirrored his. He heard McGonagall sigh as she kneeled down to pick up the parchment once more, holding it directly out to him. He stuck his hand out once more, taking the map firmly in his grip this time, and stared at it in his hand as McGonagall turned and left without another word to either of them.

The silence that followed once McGonagall disappeared was deafening. She didn't look at him though he looked at her, trying to read her face, searching for some kind of acknowledgment, but only finding discomfort there. He wasn't all that surprised. After all, no one knew what had happened between them, and it seemed that she would prefer to keep it that way. And why wouldn't she? She was in love with some one that wasn't him, and there was little chance that would change anytime soon.

He chuckled, shaking his head, thinking about how it was insane to think she would fall for him anyway, and it caused her to look at him, a funny looking crossing her features. She eyed him curiously, like she was trying to read her mind and understand what he found funny, so typical for her. He met her eye and sobered almost immediately, muttering an apology and turning to take a seat and study the map he still held. She nodded, still not saying anything and quickly averted her eyes from him.

Once again, in less that five minutes, they were enveloped in silence, and once again it was almost deafening. He tried to focus on studying the map and figuring out where there new dorm was, but it was a failed attempt. He kept glancing her way, trying to be sly about it, but he was sure she knew he was watching her. After another five minutes, five minutes that felt much more like an hour, she let out a sigh and made her way over to the compartment door, sliding it open and stepping out into the hallway beyond. He watched her through the glass as she slid the door closed once more and made her way down the hall, disappearing from his line of sight. He let out a frustrated sigh and threw his head back against the seat, staring up at the ceiling, trying to figure out where it all went wrong. She acted like it was something that was obvious, but all the events he could recur happening seemed so right to him. Especially the night that made it seem so right.

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_Draco had been walking up to his room, exhausted from another day of dealing with those that still didn't trust him. He was beginning to doubt that they ever would, despite Dumbledore's reassuring. No matter what the older man said, Draco just didn't see it happening. But he was determined not to think of that right then. He just wanted to get to his room, a room he thankfully didn't have to share with anyone else like everyone else did, and rest. . But that plan was soon shattered too as he passed the room that was shared between Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley. From the other side of the door came the sound of crying. _

Potter's turned down the fiery redhead again,_ Draco thought, knowing that Ginny Weasley had a big thing for the Golden Boy. But then he remembered the Weasleys weren't there that evening. They had chosen to stay at there own cramped home, the place they called the Burrow. So that left Granger in the room, crying. But why? Granger never cried, at least he had never seen her cry since their second year. Draco was curious, so he walked over and pushed the door open just enough to stick his head in._

"_Granger, what could possibly have you upset enough to make you cry?" he asked insensitively._

"_Just go away, Malfoy," she choked, not looking up from where she lay on the bed._

"_Ah, come on, Granger. I've only seen you cry once, and that was in second year. Since then nothing has been able to get to you enough to make you cry."_

"_If I remember correctly, it was your rude words that caused my pain in second year. Besides, why do you care now?"_

_Draco stepped into the room, shutting the door lightly behind him. He didn't care if anyone overheard them, but since he had become a member of the Order, he had become slightly more courteous to other people. "I must say my you have sparked my interest," he said walking over to the bed._

_Hermione sat up, leaning against the wall. "It's not something you want to hear about," she sighed, wiping at the tears._

"_Probably not, but by the looks of it, you don't have anyone else to talk to and I have nothing better to do."_

"_He doesn't love me," she whispered so softly that he had barely heard._

"_Who doesn't love you?" he inquired. "If you're talking about Weasley, you're wrong. Anyone can tell by looking at him that he's desperately in love with you."_

_She shook her head. "I know Ron loves me, but it's not him that I'm talking about."_

"_Then who?" It took a moment, but it hit him. If it wasn't Weasley, there was only one other person it could be. "Potter?"_

_Hermione leaned her head against her knees and sobbed silently. Draco watched her for a moment and surprised himself by pulling her to him, allowing her to cry on his shoulder as he embraced her. One of her arms wrapped around his neck while the other wrapped around his back as she clung to him, as if he was her lifeline or something. Neither of them saw what happened next._


End file.
